Have you ever been out at business function where you didn't know
anyone? Think back to how you acted. Did you hang in a corner like a bat
hoping no one would notice you or did you target the individuals or
groups who seemed to be the most like you and strike up a conversation?
The
latter is what most of us do in the course of our day-to-day lives. We
find others within our comfort zones and communicate with them by
unconsciously understanding the way they speak and respond in order to
gauge how to act accordingly.
In the business of law, we are
constantly being presented with opportunities by new prospects and
existing clients; however, sometimes we fail to connect interpersonally,
so they move on to others with whom they feel more at ease.
Understanding
some basic fundamentals on how people interact will help you position
yourself to be the one they choose to work with, both now and in the
future.
Here's how:
Everyone has a unique way of
interacting. Some people talk fast, some slow. Some populate their
conversations with anecdotes while others like to hit the ground running
in a no-nonsense effort to get the most done in as little time as
possible. Some make decisions quickly while others need time to reflect.
It's
your job to learn how to recognize and complement various interaction
styles so that the person you are speaking with on the other side of the
desk feels most at east with you and what you have to say.
Interaction styles
There
are four basic interaction styles that have been widely studied based
on observable behavior patterns. These interaction styles were first
based on theories by psychologist, Carl Jung, one of the fathers of
modern psychology in the early 1900s. In the 1960s, psychologist, David
Merrill, elaborated on Jung's types calling them "Social Styles."
I
will describe the four styles as prototypes. Of course, human nature is
a continuum, so few will actually conform to a precise type, but they
can be used as a practical guideline for dealing with people.
Understanding and differentiating them is one step closer to
communicating successfully and building trust and credibility with your
prospects and clients.
The first interaction style is based on
those who like to control the conversation and their environments. These
are the hard hitting, fast talking, task and result-oriented folks.
They are quick to make decisions and to get the job done. They are not
interested in small talk. They want results and they want them now. They
are formal and business-like. They look you square in the eye. It's
your job to be able to quickly ascertain that these quick talking,
no-nonsense individuals want to get down to business right away. Be
frank, straight-to-the-point, and efficient with their time. Give them
what they need and they will feel comfortable continuing a dialogue with
you.
Then there are those who are expressive. They want to be
heard and they want you to listen to them. They are also not concerned
with the nitty-gritty details of what you can do for them and the steps
that you are going to take to get it done. They are talkative, fast
moving and concept-oriented.
Somewhere in their heads is a huge picture
of what they want and they expect you to see it and grasp it quickly, or
at least to pretend you do. Give these types an outlet for their ideas.
Listen and support what they say. You may need to help hone their
grandiose schemes to one or two ideas at a time. As far as they're
concerned, Rome might not have been built in a day, but it was built
nonetheless, and they designed an amazing villa made out of the finest
marble as part of the finished product - because they envisioned it that
way.
How about the cooperative types? They are friendly, amiable
and warm. They tend to be on the quiet side and may seem vague at times.
They give you lots of time and are conflict-averse. They easily agree
with you but may later change their minds. These people need time to get
to know you, and they don't like pressure. They are consensus builders
and will never rock-the-boat for you within their organizations. Make
sure you are prepared to act in the way that a cooperative type wants
you to act. If not, you may both end up very frustrated.
Finally,
there are the analytic types who are all ones and zeros. They are
detail-oriented, thorough, fact-driven, bottom-liners. Everything about
them from their thinking to their speech is methodical. They want to
hear the hard core numbers about how your firm has helped others in the
past, as well as the bottom-line regarding what you can offer them in
the future. These analytical types are risk-averse and want no mistakes,
because rest assured they will find them if you make them. You never
want to rush these types. Give them time to reflect and give them the
facts and proof they need to feel comfortable with you.
In
summary, pay attention to your prospects' and clients' communications
and behavioral clues. They will help you to better connect with them.
Observe if they are speaking fast or slow, leaning forward or sitting
casually back in their chairs, looking more like they are on vacation
than at a business meeting, hopping from one topic to another or staying
linear. Understanding that there are different interaction styles and
teaching yourself how to respond accordingly to them will not only give
you a better shot at their business but allow you to continue to develop
relationships with them for long-term success.
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